North Bound and Fucked in Crap Town
I left to Suicide Dakota 6 days. I put it off as long as I could but my wallet was really hurting and my parents were bitching. It was so hard to leave, I basically abandoned my life to live and work in a piece of shit. Okay I'm getting distracted, my dad just woke up to take a piss. He is stumbling like a drunken bear trying to find the light on the wall now, he is in the bathroom taking a leak and he sounds a pig grunting. Hilarity! spent my last morning with Annie at Denver Diner. I love how she is in the morning. I called to see where she was at and I could only understand 80 percent of what she was saying, the rest is cute inaudible groans, like she is still asleep. She is going to be a sweet old lady. I met up with Mag and Nikki later at the mills to get some shoes and hang for a bit at the yard house for some delicious Thai pizza. our waitress was a bitch so we crumpled her tip and jammed it into the billfold and left. I finally left Denver around 2. The entire drive I stared at the clouds looking at the formations, wondering if Annie was doing the same. Filled up in Wheatland and saw a hitch hiker and thought about giving him a ride by the time I decided it was too late for the both of us so I continued driving. A few miles out of Cheyanne I saw another hitch hiker and went through the same process as before. He looked like an interesting fellow. With the giant canvas bag thrown over his shoulded. I guessed he was about 20. His skin tanned like a leather bag. His beard dusty from the miles of walking. His daisy dukes, were daisy dukes(the bottom of the pockets were showing) and if it wasn't for his spandex underwear his genitalia would be just as tanned. Having created that image in my mind, I knew I had to pick him up. I back tracked 6 miles only to find he was nothing like I had made him out to be. His dusty beard was long and grey. His hair short, grey, and thin at top. His skin wrinkled, aged, tanned, and battered from the countless hours of walking. He was in his late 40's. I took a couple of shots. I really hope they turned out all right. I was able to get his name, where he was comming from, and where he was going to. The ride was silent after that. He broke the silence with a sneeze. Not just any sneeze mind you. But a sneeze that shakes your body and soul. Before every sneeze he would lean in, tilt his head down and uncage the beastly air from his lungs. The sneezes would come out with such raw power and force it would throw his body back into the seat, his legs would straighten, and he would violently scratch and shake his head while mumbling words I could not fathom. I have seen my fare share of intense sneezes so this did not bother me. What bothered me is that it went on for the next hour. After the first ten minutes of this I began to worry and wondered if I had made the right choice. Dean, as I been told to call him had been traveling without water for the last several hours so at the offer of water he gladly took it like a starving child a third world country and INHALED the two bottles I had. He fidgeted in his seat like he was autistic or like he had tourette syndrome or an O.C.D. He would count on his fingers, scratch his leg and mumble things. I thought my music would set him off and at any moment he would pounce on me and kill us both in a beautiful car accident. I pulled into the Sinclairs at the Lusk exit. I gave him a dollar thirty-eight, took a few photos and we were on our way. I rolled into town around 830. The sun was setting behind me. The sky was glowing a vibrant mango orange and the air smelled of fresh pine trees after a light summer rain. That was all over when I parked in front of the China Buffet. Anxious to ride, I set up my bike only find that my tire was flat. I tired to patch it with some expoxy and another tire then tired some electrical tape but failed miserabley. I opted to go skate. Ended up cruising downtown and rolled past the bar to see some familar faces. I stopped in to say hi but ended up staying till closing. This dude named Jeremy came up and told me about watching me grow up and stuff then proceeded to spill his jager bomb all over my shorts and shoes. He turned around to use the atm and I noticed that he was wearing an icp shirt. What little respect for him was lost in that instant. I saw Jake Panill for the first time in two years. He was completely hammered then gave me a bone crushing bear hug. I stopped over to talk to John Haskavitz and Cameron Weiss. After yelling the doors break on through Jake made his way over and was still pretty excited to see me. So he whipped out his dick and started to pee on the floor. It was hilarious. Ended my night with a jager bomb with Mark Steffen because of his insistant pressure. Then Jake came back over and told us how he put his fingers up some old hags butt and when she said it was weird because he is her sons age he put them up even further. I leave you with a picture of my nephew Max.